


Disease

by LilithJow



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Angst, But there's also love, F/M, I Tried, I just love to write things I'm not good at, Pain, Several pain, Skyeward - Freeform, Smut, So enjoy the madness, Why do I bother, You're Welcome, You're Welcome Again, i guess
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-28
Updated: 2014-12-15
Packaged: 2018-02-27 08:17:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2685731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilithJow/pseuds/LilithJow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ward smirked. He stepped towards her, so her hands shook more violently. “Don't move” she repeated. He didn't listen to her and kept moving until he managed to point the gun she was holding to his own chest.<br/>“Shoot me” he said aloud. “Do it and let's end all of this”.<br/>Skye bit her lower lips so strong that she risked to make it bleed.<br/>“Just fire, Rookie” he whispered, although he knew that name made her go mad. “It's easy, you know? You hate me”.<br/>She swallowed. “Say it once again and I pull the trigger”.<br/>“That's all I'm waiting for”. He paused, looking her into the eyes. “I got nothing left to lose. Actually, I never had anything until I met you, but right now... I really got nothing”.<br/>“Do you expect me to pity you?”.<br/>“Do you really think that of me? I'm a Specialist, Skye. I can disarm you in half second, but I'm asking you to shoot me instead. And you're still not doing that”.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 1.

**Author's Note:**

> Before you begin to read this story, please pay attention.  
> What it's written under here it could result a bit twisted and not healthy. There's no violence, but, well.. You'll see. It will be about a really toxic relationship for a while, so don't complain about "but it's not like that on the show".  
> You know, that's why they called this "FANfiction".  
> Also, this first chapter was inspired by "Use me" by Digital Summer.  
> Enjoy your reading and let me know what you think. It's my first attempt with a smut fiction and English is not my main language.  
> Comments are really appreciated.

The gun was pointing to his head. Although her hands were shaking, he knew she could pull the trigger in any moment.

She hated him, it was perfectly reasonable.

“Why don't you do it, Skye?”. Ward's voice stirred her up, while he was smirking.

That was crazy. He could die in a second and he still found it kind of funny.

“Do it. Kill me” he said again. “That's what you are now, right? A perfect S.H.I.E.L.D.'s soldier. And I'm your target. A traitor who deserves to die. So, do your job”.

His arms were lifted. He wouldn't do anything to stop her.

“Just shut up!” she yelled, trying to hold her gun more firmly.

“You make the rules, Rookie”,

“Stop calling me like that”.

“How should I call you? Agent Skye?”.

“Don't call me at all”.

He winced. “As you wish” he grumbled.

“And don't move”.

“Does it seem like I am moving?” Ward complained. “Come on, Skye. What are you gonna do? We can't stay here forever. Do it. Shoot me”.

“I'm not a murderer” she said, so certain about that.

“Yeah, you're not like me, right?”.

“What part of 'shut up' it's not clear to you?”.

Ward smirked. He stepped towards her, so her hands shook more violently. “Don't move” she repeated. He didn't listen to her and kept moving until he managed to point the gun she was holding to his own chest.

“Shoot me” he said aloud. “Do it and let's end all of this”.

Skye bit her lower lips so strong that she risked to make it bleed.

“Just fire, Rookie” he whispered, although he knew that name made her go mad. “It's easy, you know? _You hate me_ ”.

She swallowed. “Say it once again and I pull the trigger”.

“That's all I'm waiting for”. He paused, looking her into the eyes. “I got nothing left to lose. Actually, I never had anything until I met you, but right now... I really got nothing”.

“Do you expect me to pity you?”.

“Do you really think that of me? I'm a Specialist, Skye. I can disarm you in half second, but I'm asking you to shoot me instead. And you're still not doing that”.

Skye held her breath for a while. She was feeling heavy. She was literally holding Ward's life in her hands, she just had to fire so that she could finally get a rid of him. And yet, she was hesitating.

The question was... Why?

She had no reason.

Ward was the bad guy and it was true, he was one of her target in that mission, but still she couldn't pull that damn trigger.

“You are – you are a damn bastard” she said, grinding her teeth. He cracked a smile. “Maybe” he replied. “And you still don't fire”.

She shook her head. “I'm really trying to do that!” she shouted. “But I can't. And you wanna know why?”. Skye removed her gun and took a step back. Ward was perplexed.

“It's crazy” she continued. “It's like you – you're a disease. Yeah, you are a disease to me and it's getting worse. You're toxic to me. You're poison that floods into my veins and I really can't get a rid of it. You make me sick”.

Ward looked down. He didn't know how to consider her words. He knew she detested him, but that was way to hard to accept it. “What do you want from me, Skye?” he whispered. “I just gave the chance to erase me, but you didn't take it”.

“I want you to say that you're sorry” she almost screamed. “And not for your betrayal to the team or for the fact that you tried to kill Fitz and Simmons. I want you to say sorry to me. You made me like this. You turned me into everything I hate”.

“I didn't do that. You decided to...”.

“I haven't decided to become this. I had to. I had to because I was too weak before”.

“You've never been weak”.

“I was. And to be honest, I liked that version of me. This...”. She opened her arms, she seemed exasperated. “I hate this. It's like I'm a puppet that just follows the orders. I do my job and I feel nothing at all. I'm numb”.

Ward looked at her and he really felt sorry. He never wanted her to be like that: she was so close to be a Specialist and he knew that was so bad for her. Skye was a funny and radiant girl, she was always ready to joke about everything, she did sarcastic comments about serious stuff.

The person who was standing in front of him was the opposite of that.

She was cold, distant.

He would said something, but nothing came out of his mouth.

Skye stepped towards him. She was still holding the gun in one hand like it was a toy. “I don't wanna be like this” she hissed. “I want to feel and you know what's the worst part? The only time I feel something it's when it comes to you. Good or bad, it doesn't really matter. When I think about you, I got emotions. How twisted is that? I want to be sick just to feel something. And it's so – It's so wrong. People shouldn't want to be sick. I should want to be fine and deep down I know I will never be fine with you around. You're a freaking sickness”.

Ward sighed. It was like being hit by a billion bullets. Perhaps just one for her would have been less painful. “Let go, Skye” he whispered. “Grab that gun and get a rid of your disease”.

“You haven't heard a word of what I said, haven't you?”. She smirked and let go on her gun, which fell on the floor. “I want to be sick” she repeated. “If this is the only way to feel something again, I want it”.

Ward was about to tell her to stop it, but he couldn't. Skye's radio beeped and Coulson's voice rang out.

“ _Skye? Skye, where are you?”._

Her eyes didn't turn away from Ward's. He grabbed her radio and replied to Coulson.

“I'm on my own away” she said.

“ _You know you always need someone on your back. Tell me your position, May's coming after you”._

“Don't need her. I got this”.

“ _Skye, you d-”._

She shut down the communication and the radio reached the gun on the floor.

“What you're doing?” Ward asked. She smirked again. “Make me feel something, please” she begged. She got closer to him until she could press her chest against his.

“Make me feel something, Ward”.

Before he could stop her, Skye was already attacking his lips with a passionate and full kiss. He could barely breathe in that moment. His heart was beating too fast. His hands immediately went on her hips, while she was touching his arms.

“Skye” he mumbled. “You have t-”.

“Don't talk” she said. “Just don't”. She was serious. He could see the light into her eyes.

She kissed him again and Ward couldn't help himself from holding her tight. He lifted her and Skye wrapped her legs around his waist.

Their kiss became rough. He grunted. Skye didn't stop. Clothes were separating them, but that didn't last for too long.

Ward removed her vest. Skye got a rid of his shirt. She licked her lips when she finally got to touch his abs.

' _All that workout really worth it'_ she thought.

Skye's lips left Ward's mouth in favour of his neck. She was holding up on him like he was a rock.

Ward turned around and they both fell on the brown couch that was in that small room. He was on top and looked at her like she was some kind of mystical vision. She winced.

“Don't think this is important” Skye whispered. “Just do it”.

“I...”.

She prevented him from talking and started to kiss his lips again with animal ferocity. She pressed his head against her own and pulled his short hair. He barely held a scream when her nails scratched his naked skin on the back.

“Skye”. He said her name with a moan. She giggled.

The rest of their clothes were removed and fell on the floor. It was cold in that place, but their bodies were burning up.

Skye could feel that. She was feeling everything and that was all she wanted.

Ward started to kiss her breast, then sucked her nipples one by one. She shivered when he did it. He went down, teasing every part of her body with kisses and small bites. One of his hand reached her core. He wanted to remove it, but she stopped him.

“I said do it” she murmured.

Skye was dominating him and Ward didn't mind at all. It was weird for him, but she had total control on him, like she always did.

He obeyed her. Two of his fingers started moving inside her, making her groan. “Don't. Stop” she shouted. He didn't. He kept going until she came, screaming.

Skye was out of breath, but that didn't prevent her to be again over Ward's lips. She took both of his hands and pressed them on her breasts. violently.

“You could have done better” she said, quietly, still on his mouth. “But I can work with that”.

He said nothing. The sensation of her skins on his was overwhelming. He thought he was in heaven and that was just the beginning.

Skye moved from his lips and started to kiss his cheekbone. Then she climbed down on his neck and bit him with strength. She wanted to feel his flesh trembling.

Ward couldn't help himself from screaming that time. It was weirder and stranger than he imagined.

He raised from her so that he could see her face. There was a wishful smile on it. On reasonable thinking, he should have stop that madness in that exact moment. The problem was that he couldn't.

He didn't want to. He wanted her as much as she wanted him.

They were like two magnets, they could not stay away from each other, not when both of their bodies were warming up together.

So he smirked and let himself go.

He kissed her more passionately than what he did before and decided to take the control. Yes, it was good to dominated by her, but he betted that it would be more exciting to be the one who dominates.

Ward took Skye's hands and blocked them over her head. His hips raised a bit. She spread her legs, then he thrust into her. Skye moaned, closing her eyes.

That was a feeling.

He was on the top of her, she couldn't move at all, but despite that, she felt... Good.

The pleasure was disarming and it was everywhere as long as he was thrusting up and down on her.

“Grant” she gasped. She didn't know why, it came naturally. Ward smirked. Hearing her say his first name was paradisical.

“Say it again” he hissed in her ear. She stayed quiet – except more moans. Therefore, Ward pressed stronger into her, until she screamed. “Oh, God, Grant!”.

That was more than satisfying.

She was still clung over his waist when he lifted her. He found himself on his knees, still inside her. In that position, Skye could move and began to go up and down on his erection.

Their mouths kept looking for each other, even if they were not kissing. She grabbed on to his shoulders, pressing her forehead against his.

Ward was smiling. In spite of everything, she was there and, even for just that moment, she was all his. He couldn't have asked something better.

Perhaps, he liked to be sick with her.

Skye's hands caressed his cheeks. He could feel her tiny fingers over his warm skin. Their eyes were melting into each other.

His mind ran though. He was already thinking about how beautiful it could have been if she was going to be with him for the rest of his life.

He imagined how it could have been if she just stayed next to him.

And it was a really beautiful vision.

Unfortunately, it was just that.

The reality was way too far from a happy ending.

Skye pulled herself away. Looking to his face was hard. Yes, she needed that, but she shouldn't have done that.

She was happy and miserable at the same time.

“ _It wasn't important”_ she repeated to herself.

She picked up her clothes and started to wear them. Ward didn't move. He was still on his knees, naked. She seemed cold again.

“So, what -” he was about to say something, but Skye stopped. “It wasn't important” she shouted. He could only see her back in that moment. “You can go now” she added.

“What you're gonna say to the team?” Ward asked then.

“I will figure out what to say to them when they'll ask”. She turned around. He still didn't move and she was thrilled by his perfect body. She bit her lower lips softly.

“If I will need to feel something again” she said. “Will you...”.

“Will I let you use me?”.

Skye held her breath. It was that? She was just using him for her own pleasure and nothing else?

Yes, it was that.

Did that make her mean person? Was she cruel? She didn't know, but she did know that she needed to feel that things and that it could only happen with him

“If you wanna see it like that” she said then and look away. He smiled. Maybe that wasn't the most healthy way to have her around, but it was the only way he had.

“It's fine by me” he whispered. “Use me”.


	2. 2.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Your thing is to torture me?” he said, quietly.  
> “It could be” she whispered just before kissing him fully.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are getting hotter and... Weird? I don't know how to explain.  
> Remember that comments are really appreciated and yes, English is not my main language, so forgive me if there are any grammar mistakes.

She left him a note.

A damn note with coordinates.

Ward was still surprised when he finally got to the place which was written on that piece of paper. It was a motel in the suburbs of Chicago: a very old building and perhaps with just a few guests on the inside.

“ _Really?”_ he thought when a young lady gave him a key for a room.

Room 865.

Skye had planned everything.

When he entered the chamber, she was already there. She was wearing just a tank top and blue panties.

He couldn't see her face, she was turned over.

“Finally” Skye said. “Why did it take you so long?”.

“Traffic” he answered, then he put his jacket off. “And by the way” he added. “Really? A motel? Don't you think it's a cliché?”.

Skye panted. “If that's not okay for you, you can leave”.

“No, that's fine. I just made a comment”.

She turned around then. “Good”. She took a step towards him. “Now, stand still”.

“What?”.

“Don't move, Ward”.

“Well, I need to move to d -”.

“You don't”. Skye moved again until she got very close to him. She grabbed the bottom of Ward's shirt with strength and pulled him against her own body. “I wanna try something” she hissed.

Once again, her eyes were wishful. He didn't even ask what she wanted to try. He was all hers.

Ward didn't move at all. His arms were down, along to his sides.

Her hands started to tickle his skin right under the shirt that was still on, then they started to go down so that they could reach his pants' zip.

She smirked when she already found his erection pressing against his crotch. She liked having that kind of impact on him.

“Remember to not move” she whispered. Then she fell on her knees right in front of him. She unzipped his jeans and drew them down as long as his underwear.

Ward understood her intentions in that exact moment. A side of him didn't want that, but the other one was already trembling.

He didn't get the chance to stop her though. She took him in her mouth before he could make a sound except a severe sequence of moans.

Her tongue was moving so slow around it – too slow. It was a sweet torture.

He wished she went faster, but he really couldn't do anything but wringing his hands.

She looked at him through her eyelashes. She got power on him in that instant as she can feel him deep down in her throat.

Before the pleasure could become overwhelming and reached its culmination, Skye released him and pulled herself away. She stepped up, scraping her body against his. When she arrived on his lips, she licked them softly.

He was out of breathe. The fact that she didn't give to him the whole pleasure was hard to process, but he could not complain about that.

“Your thing is to torture me?” he said, quietly.

“It could be” she whispered just before kissing him fully.

Ward groaned. He wanted to touch her so badly in that moment, but she stopped his hands before they could reach her thighs. “I haven't said that you can move now” she hissed on his mouth. He frowned while she took a step back and then pulled him until he could take a seat on the corner of the small bed in that room.

“Take your shirt off” Skye ordered.

He smirked. “You're at mercy of control”.

“No one said you can talk. Now take your shirt off”.

He obeyed. She mirrored him, removing her panties too.

Both were naked.

She stepped towards him until she could place herself on his waist. He tried to hold her even that time, but she stopped him again pressing her fingers on his wrists. She almost hurt him.

“Don't” she shouted. He sighed and kept no moving.

Skye put Ward's hands over the mattress and pressed them on it until he realized that he should keep them like that.

He was her slave.

She started to rub her breast against his chest. He shivered.

Her fingers started to brush his biceps as they went up to reach his shoulders.

Skye was feeling great. Her entire body was trembling, she was warm, she was feeling all that she thought she had lost.

And when she let him in, it was better than the first time.

She could feel every part of him and wanted more and more of it.

She started to push up and down over him as he stayed perfectly static like she ordered. The only things that came from him were his gasps.

Skye thrust deeper, over and over, and she screamed at every push. But it was good.

It was so good that it left her breathless when she achieved orgasm and collapsed over his body.

Her head was plugged into his chest. She could feel his heart-beating. It was fast and she was sure that it was her too.

Even when it all ended, Ward didn't dare to lift his arms. He didn't move at all while the pleasure was still there.

He didn't know how to consider what was just happened – again – to him.

Before that day, he thought everything was going to be great because he was allowed to sleep with her, to see her, to touch her – oh, well, let her touch him – to kiss her, to just spend time with her.

But in that instant he was also feeling bad because he didn't know how much time that could last and he was sure that she was going to feel ashamed of herself as soon as she realized what she was actually doing.

Ward wanted to warn her, although a part of him – perhaps the most selfish one – prevented him from doing the right thing like it always happened in his life.

She was there with him and it was all that mattered.

 

When she raised her head, she avoided his eyes, like it happened the first time.

Ward noticed that, again. “Why can't you look at me?” he asked.

Skye didn't reply. She just pulled herself away and stood up. A second later, she was already picking up her clothes.

“Skye” he called.

“What?”.

He sighed and stood up too. He was still naked, while she was half dressed.

Ward got closer and stopped only when he reached her. He grabbed her arms with strength so that she was forced to meet his eyes.

“Why can't you look at me?” he repeated.

Skye kept the silence for a few seconds and she could barely stood his look. “Let me go” she whispered.

“I want an answer”.

She swallowed. “You agreed to let me use you” she said, quietly. “No sweet glances included”.

He set her free after those words. He wanted to be angry, but he really hadn't any reason.

It was true, he had agreed and he couldn't expect anything but being treated like a toy. That was it, nothing else.

“Fine” he said and then took a step away. He picked up his clothes, nervously, and put them on.

Skye didn't move, instead. “What's wrong?” she asked.

“Nothing. I'm gonna wait for another note”.

“Seriously? Now you act like the one who has the right to be mad?”.

“I'm not acting”.

“So, what's this?”. Skye's voice became louder every word she spoke.

Ward didn't say anything back and just turned around so that she could not see his eyes.

“What did you expect?” she continued. “A perfect and romantic love story? Well, hail fairytale, that's not gonna happen. Ever. This is all that you can have from me and it's not going to turn into something else”.

He held his breath. “Right” he whispered. “Don't need to say it aloud, Rookie. I got it”.

He lied.

It was no right. He felt broken. She was his dream and in that moment she became his nightmare.

“Like I said” he added “I wait for you note”.

And then he left and Skye was alone again.

 


	3. 3.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You should know something” Skye whispered.  
> “What?”.  
> “You're still my target”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't blame me for what you're about to read. I love angst and sweetness and... Oh, gosh, Skyeward really messed me up.  
> Comments are really appreciated.

The soft light of the sun was seeping through the window. It was on Skye's naked body, while she was sleeping. A blank sheet was covering only a part of her breast.

Ward was staring at her. He did that for the whole night. That was the first time that she hadn't left right after sex or that he had.

She stayed there. Perhaps she was just tired and could not help herself from falling asleep.

Missions, undercover, the stressful life of a S.H.I.E.L.D.'s agent and then, of course, there was the extreme and angry sex with the traitor.

Yes, her days were rough.

Ward was stunned by her face. It was like her beauty was increasing day by day and he could not prevent himself from smiling while he was looking at her.

In that moment, there was peace in that small room of another run-down motel. They seemed like a young couple on the road. He liked that idea and loved to daydream about that. At least, no one could actually take away his dreams.

“Mh-m”. Skye started to wake up in that moment, though she wanted to keep sleeping. When she opened her eyes, Ward was still staring at her.

A part of her pushed her into smiling at him, but it lasted just half of a second: she could not show that she actually liked it. So she winced.

“What are you looking at?” she complained.

“You”.

“Yeah, I figured that out”. She panted. “And why you're still here? I thought you always leave after _it_ ”.

“I don't. You always want me to leave after _sex_. Actually, we have sex, we fight and then you make me leave”.

Skye rolled her eyes, she couldn't admit it was the truth. “Whatever” she said, then she got up.

Her clothes were pretty much everywhere on the floor and it took her a few minutes before she could collect them all. Ward stayed in the bed and kept looking at her.

“Stop it” Skye shouted when she realized that.

“Stop what?”.

“Staring. I hate that”.

He smirked. “You should write down a list of things I'm not allowed to do. So far, I can't move if you don't say so, I can't touch you if you don't say so, I can't talk, I can't stare. Do I forget something?”.

“You have just mentioned the fact that you can't talk. Keep that in mind”.

Ward laughed.

He left the bed and put on his black underwear. She was already half dressed when he reached her and hugged her from behind. His chest pressed against her back and she held her breath. Ward's hands were on her waists and his fingers were tickling her skin.

Slowly his lips were on her neck.

“You're breaking two rules in one time” she whispered, bowing her head to her left side.

“Am I?”.

“Now they're three”.

She turned around then. In the moment she did it, she found herself looking at him with her eyes wide opened and being amazed by him. How could that happen?

Things got complicated for Skye when he decided to kiss her gently, with no rush. A kiss full of hope, sweetness and... Care.

He caressed her cheek with one hand and her hair with the other one. He was holding her tightly like she was the most precious gift in the world. The worst part was that she didn't know why.

Ward shouldn't have to. She was just using him and nothing else. But in spite of that, he still cared, maybe too much.

And when the kiss ended, she kept her face close to his, staring at his eyes, drowning into them.

She couldn't look away, even though a part of her was screaming to do that. She didn't obey it.

She shut down every inch of her body that kept telling her that all of that was wrong and kissed him back with the same sweetness he used.

Thousand questions were spinning in her head, but she decided to just ignore them because that moment became too damn perfect to be ruined with what was right and what was wrong.

She just let herself go to all the feelings she thought she had lost.

Ward was warm. His touch was pleasing, paradisical and she almost regretted that she hadn't let him touch her like that before.

Skye grabbed to Ward's shoulders so that he could lift her from the floor. Her legs wrapped around his waist as he started to caress her back. While he was still holding her, Ward moved towards the bed and let her lie down on the mattress.

He was above her, but their mouths were still in contact, looking for each other like an essential need.

Their few clothes were early removed. There was no sound in that room, not even their moans. They drowned into this surreal bubble, leaving all the rest outside.

And Skye was totally okay with that, she couldn't resist.

In that moment, there were just the two of them and she liked to think that S.H.I.E.L.D, Hydra, all that stuff were nightmares and they finally could wake up.

How selfish was that?

It was really egotistic.

Skye had never been like that.

That was the first time for her, so she didn't really blame herself for feeling good.

Maybe what she was doing was not rational and no one of her team would accept it – especially May – but she didn't really mind.

She let him in, again, and felt complete. She closed her eyes, while his hands were holding her and protecting her.

He started to thrust into her, slowly, gently.

And it was not just sex, Ward could feel that. There was not just passion or animal desire, there was more. He was not sure it was love, but it was something really close to it.

When her eyelids went up, Ward gazed upon her. It was magical.

“I...” he was about to say, but Skye stopped him. “Don't” she whispered. “Please, don't... Don't say that”. She pressed her lips against his. “Don't say anything, please” she said, still on his mouth.

He kept silent.

Ward wasn't even sure about where his sentence would have go. He didn't know it would end up with a promise of love or something else. In that moment, he wasn't aware of anything but the fact that he could hold her.

And that was enough because he felt alive for the first time in his life.

They achieved a satisfying orgasm at the same time with a final push from Ward and both let themselves screaming with pleasure. They suffocated that loud sound with a passionate and long kiss.

Skye was out of breathe when he crawled on her right side. He was still close, his arms was still wrapped around her waist. It seemed like he couldn't let her go.

“Grant?” she whispered. He smiled. There was something that made him giggle when he heard his first name come out of her mouth. “Yeah?” Ward replied.

“What you're doing to me?”.

“What do you mean?”.

She winced. “I wanted to feel something, but this... You make me feel too much”.

“Is that bad?”.

“It's bad because it comes from you. How – how is that possible? I try so hard to hate you because I know what you've done and yet here I am, in your arms, like nothing happened and it feels... It feels so good. Then why? Why do you have this impact on me?”.

Ward looked down. That time it was him who couldn't stare at her eyes. “I don't know” he murmured. “Maybe some things just happen with no explanation”.

“Like some things are meant to be?”.

“I told you this once”.

“I know. I remember everything that you said to me”.

“Everything?”.

“Good or bad”. She shook her head and laughed, nervously. “Crazy, huh? I told everyone that I moved on when I haven't. I kept thinking about you everyday. Sometimes I dreamed about you. Sometimes thoughts were good, sometimes there was just me yelling and hitting you so hard until I made you bleed. And other times, we were just like now, lying in a bed and staring at each other”.

“I like that vision”.

“Unfortunately, me too”.

Skye touched his cheekbones gently. Maybe for the first time since she had found out he was Hydra, she looked at him with devotion. It was not like everything had been cancelled, but Ward considered that glance really precious. He hoped and prayed for that kind of look for months and in that moment, he got it.

“But what I told you is true” she said then. “You're bad for me and perhaps I'm bad for you”.

“You're not bad for me. You're... The best thing that ever happened to me”.

She smiled. “Don't be such romantic, Grant Ward. It's not your style”.

He laughed and plunged his face in the crook of her neck, kissing her skin in that dot. Then he lifted his head and returned to stare at her.

“You should know something” Skye whispered.

“What?”.

“You're still my target”. She paused while he frowned. “Coulson wanted May to replace me after the last time. He said I was not ready, but I got a second chance”.

“So they expect you to kill me?”.

“Yes”.

“It's been two months and you haven't done that”.

“I told him I haven't found you yet, which is plausible since you're good at hiding”.

“And why did Coulson let you be on this mission on your own?”.

“Because he knew that I'm the only one you would never hurt and you would just let me do my job without fighting. And he was right, wasn't he? You gave up immediately and begged me to shoot you”.

“But you didn't”.

“That's one thing Coulson shall never know. He was so sure I would just pull the trigger and I was too. I was certain that I would kill you in a blink, with no second thoughts”.

“What stopped you?”.

“You know what”.

“Maybe. I just need to hear that again”.

Skye bit her lower lip. “No matter what I do, you got under my skin and I will never get a rid of you”.

Ward felt his body shaking. It was a whole new sensation for him, he had never felt something like that before that moment. He didn't know how to react, he was heavily breathing.

He followed his instinct and pressed his mouth against hers. A new kiss full of passion, emotions, sweetness. Everything was in that kiss.

Ward's soul was in it, though he didn't believe he had one.

He was still touching her lips and even if he knew that she didn't want to hear those words, he couldn't help himself from saying them. “I love you” he murmured.

Skye didn't say anything back, but that was fine for Ward. He didn't expect her to speak, he just wanted to say it aloud.

He needed it.

 

 

***

 

 

Ward was ready to leave. Not that he wanted to, but Skye's time was running out and he really had to go.

He was already dressed with tight jeans, blue shirt and leather jacket. She was putting some clothes on.

“So” Ward said before opening the door. “Where I can find your next note?”.

She laughed. “Stop with notes” Skye replied. “I got you this”. She fumbled into her black bag and took out a cellphone from it. She leaned to him.

“It's a satellite phone, but I kind hacked it so we're able to talk through it without being tracked. There's just a number on it and it's mine”.

Ward smirked, he was surprised and he didn't even know if it was in a bad way or in a good way.

“If they find out about this...” he said.

“They won't” she stopped him. “I know what I'm doing. Trust me, okay?”.

“I trust you, Skye, but it's dangerous. You're basically fooling S.H.I.E.L.D., which is totally fine by me, although they could put a restriction on you if they...”.

“I said that they won't know anything”.

Ward was not sure about that, but he didn't really mind. His brain was far away from S.H.I.E.L.D.'s rules or anything related to that. He got the girl he always wanted and that was the only thing he cared about.

“Good” he concluded. “Guess I should go now”.

She nodded. “Grant?”.

“Yeah?”.

Skye stepped towards him until she reached him and kissed his lips. “See you in a few days”.

He smiled, still on her mouth. No words came in reply, just that smile before he left.

The door closed and the room returned to be silent. Skye was alone and she hated that. Ten seconds passed and she was already missing his touch.

She shook her head, quietly, and unconsciously smiled.

She was ready to leave too, but thirty seconds later she heard something. For just a moment, she hoped it was just her imagination because what she hear were gunshots, a several of them. She held her breathe and hesitated before grabbing her gun and loading it up.

More gunshots' noise came from the outside. Skye couldn't see a thing from the window, but something huge was happening out there. Her mind ran to Ward. Where was he? He was already far away or he was in the middle of that shooting?

Her hesitation couldn't last any longer. She took a deep breathe and then got out of the room. As soon as she did it, though, the gunshots stopped.

Skye couldn't recognized who pulled the trigger. Whoever was, they were hidden. But she saw something.

Something bad.

Ward was a few meters distant from her, lying on the tar, surrounded by his own blood.

 


	4. 4.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Skye” he called her again.  
> She sobbed. “Please, don't... Don't talk”.  
> He cracked a smile and almost choked because of the blood in his mouth. “S-still telling me w-what to d-do” he gasped.  
> She swallowed. “I won't let you go. Not now that we're fixing things. Alright? Don't leave me now. You heard me? Don't you dare leave me now”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Perhaps an emotional chapter or turning page chapter or... Well, it's up to you.  
> Comments, as always, are really appreciated.

She couldn't move. Her breathe seemed to have stopped.

Skye felt like shaking, the reality was that she was standing there with empty eyes. Her gun fell on the tar, she didn't even mind that.

There was a lot of noise around her, perhaps known voices or just a big racket, but she couldn't hear a damn thing.

The vision of Ward drowned in his own blood paralysed her.

And she was the one who was supposed to make him bleed in the first place.

She had got the order to kill him off.

In that moment, she realized why she couldn't do that because seeing him like that almost killed her too.

“Grant”. His name spilled out of her mouth with a moan. She ran towards him and fell on her knees right beside his body.

He had his eyes opened and he was still breathing.

That was something.

“S-Skye”. Ward's voice was faint. Skye's hands pressed against his wound. A bullet – or maybe two – hit his chest; hopefully, they didn't damage his heart. At least, that was what she was hoping.

“Shh, I'm here” she whispered, nervously. “It's nothing, okay? You're gonna be fine. You've been through worse, right? This is... This is nothing”.

Her hands were still pressing against the wound, but the blood wouldn't stop running out. Skye looked around. Who the hell shot? And why there? It seemed like there was no one there, except them, not even the other motel's guests or its owners.

Where did everyone go?

“I need help!” she shouted. “Please, I... I need help. Is someone here?”.

She was screaming, desperately, and started crying.

Was she even allowed to cry for him? Was it correct to cry for him?

Tears could not be stopped though. She felt lost, powerless. Ward was dying right in front of her eyes and she couldn't avoid that.

“Please, someone help me... Please”. Despite her training and her new strength, he was still too heavy to be carried by her.

“Skye” he called her again.

She sobbed. “Please, don't... Don't talk”.

He cracked a smile and almost choked because of the blood in his mouth. “S-still telling me w-what to d-do” he gasped.

She swallowed. “I won't let you go. Not now that we're fixing things. Alright? Don't leave me now. You heard me? Don't you dare leave me now”.

Ward would say something to her because seeing her breaking down like that was causing him more pain than the bullet into his chest. He wanted to tell her that it was true and he was going to be okay, but he just couldn't. He was too weak, his blood kept spilling out of the wound and it made him slowly fade away.

Tears were streaming down of Skye's face, she couldn't help herself from crying.

“Agent Skye”. A loud voice came to her ears. “Get away from the target right now”.

The girl lifted her head. She saw May right in front of her.

Her new SO was pointing a gun at her.

“I said get away. Now” she repeated.

Skye shook her head, violently. “No” she whispered.

She couldn't add anything more.

A roar filled the air.

The last thing she saw is Ward's face while he's closing his eyes and then the darkness.

 

 

*** 

 

 

The silence in that room was barely tolerable.

Skye didn't know how much time she spent in there. Perhaps it was hours. When she had opened her eyes, she was already there. She recognised the place she was in immediately. It was the same room she got into when S.H.I.E.L.D. first found her. It was the room when they were always taking the prisoners.

She had to consider herself like a prisoner, now?

Well, they froze her to get her away from Ward, so she guess the answer was yes.

The door opened when Skye was staring at her own fingers. She looked up and saw May.

“Where is he?” Skye asked before the other woman could talk.

May smirked. “Do you mean Ward?”. She spit his name through her teeth. “He's dead” she continued. “I finished him, put a bullet right in his head, between his eyes. He didn't even beg me to spare his life”.

Skye swallowed. She wanted to scream in that exact moment, but nothing of that came out of her mouth. “It's not true” she whispered, instead.

“Oh, it is. And he should have die long time ago. He was your target, you should have been the one who pulled the trigger”.

Skye stopped listen to her. “I wanna see him” she shouted.

May rolled her eyes. “Haven't you heard me? He's dead”.

“I don't care. I still want to see him”.

May ignored the last sentence and sat right in front of her on the other side of the table. Skye looked away.

“Why have you not done that?” the older woman said. “It was your job, we have trained for this everyday for months”.

Skye hesitated. “You wouldn't understand”.

“Prove me”.

The girl didn't reply to that. She didn't want to tell her reasons. Perhaps, there was no reason at all: she just couldn't kill him.

“That was an ambush” she said instead. “He hadn't any defence, I bet he didn't even see any of you. You just shot on him over and over, am I right?”.

“It had to be done” May uttered.

“No, it hadn't. You taught me. You and Coulson taught me that killing is never an option to fix things and yet you sent me over Ward to put him down for good. And since I haven't made it, you took the shot and killed him like an animal. And it's right because you made it for justice, am I correct? If we kill someone, it's fair because we do that for right reasons, but if someone different from us do the same thing, well... We don't even consider his reasons”.

In response of Skye's speech, May laughed, nervously. “Ward was just a murder” she shouted. “He never had a reason, he was just evil”.

“We never listened to his reasons” Skye whispered.

“He really brainwashed you, didn't he?”.

“He didn't do anything”.

“Then why you're defending him now?”.

“I'm not. I'm aware of his actions, he did terrible things, I get it and I will never get completely over about some of them, but no one ever said that we can't fix our mistakes”.

“His mistakes were too big to be fixed”.

“Right. Because he killed people. You never did that, right?”.

“Don't return on it”.

“I do. I have to. My head is full of your words about how I should be. Cold, distant, focused on the job. I can't. You turned me into you and I... I don't wanna be like that. I don't wanna be cold. That's why I haven't pulled the trigger”.

May sighted. Skye's eyes were tormenting her. There was a different look on her.

“I guess I wasted my time with you” May concluded. Her face was impassive. She got up, looking away from Skye and left the room.

Skye knew that someone was still watching her in that moment, Coulson probably. Perhaps he was with Jemma, Fitz, Tripp or who else.

She didn't care. They could stare at her for the whole day. They would see her keep a straight face while she was breaking in the inside, while she was trying so hard to suppress the pain caused by the idea of Ward's death.

That was it.

Ward was dead.

Ward was dead.

Dead.

He was dead.

She couldn't process it. Her entire body was telling her that it wasn't true, that he was still alive. She could feel that. She was sure that if he was really dead, she would be more desperate. She would miss something, but she wasn't.

She was still feeling him although he was not near to her.

The vision of him covered up in blood was still cutting her like a knife. It was painful.

Skye needed to see him.

She needed to see his face once again and she was certain that she could look into his eyes again.

 

 

The night came over, at least that was Skye thought since the silence became deeper and deeper. Maybe someone was still watching over her, but she was hoping in a doze off or something like that. But even if they were still perfectly awake, that wouldn't prevent her to get out of that damn room.

She studied every angle of it for the whole day, finding out a few way to break free. Well, some of them were not conventional and perhaps too much rude. Although she wasn't going to act like a good girl.

The team didn't consider her dangerous, she knew it. She was aware of that they just though she was weak, a girl who needed to be protected in spite of her progresses.

That was fine by her in that moment because, of course, no one would expect what she actually did: escape from there.

She managed to leave that damn room although it was locked. She knew how to open it, how to dupe all the security systems.

Skye was out of her comfortable cage in thirty minutes and she didn't care if anyone saw her.

They could try to catch her, but she had learned how to be fast.

The base was empty – at least, that's how it seemed. She begun to walk through the hallways, trusting her instinct. She felt Ward was in there and he was alive. She just had to find out the right place.

The girl tried to recall where they used to keep injured prisoners, but it was hard because their prisoners were mostly alive and not particularly hurt. S.H.I.E.L.D. didn't use to captivate really injured people. If they hurt during the mission, probably they would be just put down for good.

 _'That's not Ward's case'_ Skye thought.

She kept walking until she heard Coulson's voice. Then she stopped and hid herself behind a wall.

“ _So that's the plan”_ he said.

Someone was with him and it was easy to understand who: it was May. _“I still don't understand why we're doing this”_ she shouted.

“ _I told you why”._

“ _What's the point? We had to kill him and now we are taking care of him?”._

“ _Believe me, I don't like that either, but I have this feeling that we shouldn't just let him die”._

“ _At least he's stuck in a bed”._

“ _Perhaps he would be for a long time. Doctors said his situation is serious”._

“ _Not that I really care. You know what I think about this”._

“ _Yeah. I know”._

Skye listened carefully to their dialogue. She unconsciously smiled when she found out she was right: Ward was alive. She didn't care about the rest. His situation was serious, yes, but she knew he could make it.

Coulson and May left after few words. The hallway was empty, so Skye walked through it.

Her instinct guided her again until she reached a small room, illuminated by a soft light. The door was half-closed and from the small chink she finally saw him.

Ward was in there, lying in a bed. He was pale and he didn't look well, but at least he was breathing even if with the help of some tubes that were coming out of his nose.

Skye didn't think twice before entering into the room. She closed the door at her back and reached the bed in less than five seconds. He was sleeping, but that didn't prevent her from caressing his face, gently. “I knew you were still here” she whispered.

Then her eyes leaped around the room just to check that place out. Even though she found a way out, she couldn't just take him away, not in that condition, unfortunately. But Skye didn't think about that too much. The fact that he was alive was enough.

Ward opened his eyes in that moment and, despite his tired look, he smiled at her. “Hi” he gasped.

“Hi” she said and returned the same kind of smile. Her fingers didn't leave his cheeks.

“You scared the hell out of me” she added then.

“Sorry about that”.

Skye shook her head. The tears came in her eyes again although she didn't want to.

“Are you crying?” he asked, innocently.

“Maybe”.

Ward smiled again. “For me?”.

“That wouldn't be the first time I cry for you”.

“Yeah, but... It would be the first time you do because you're afraid to lose me”.

The girl laughed, nervously. “Shut up”.

That instant together seemed surreal. How come she was so worried about him? A day that looked far away she swore to hate him no mattered what and yet she was even cry over him.

Yes, that was crazy.

“We don't have so much time” Skye said then. “They're going to find out I escaped”.

“You escaped?”.

“Yeah. Guess I'm better than you with that”.

“You shouldn't have”.

“They told me you were dead. I had to find out if that was true or not”. She paused. Ward frowned. Yes, he was happy to see her again also because he thought he was gone for good. He had felt that when we was lying on the tar. He'd been so sure that his heart had stopped beating.

But in that moment he was there, alive – or barely alive.

Skye looked around around again, still worried someone could show up in any time.

“I have to plan how to get you out of here” she said.

“Skye...”.

“What?”.

Ward sighed. His tired look was more visible. Perhaps every word he spoke was getting him weaker. “I... I can't get up from this bed” he whispered. “At least not right now. And then if you... If you help me to break free, you turn against them. Every one of them, including Coulson. Are you... Are you sure you wanna do this... For me?”.

Skye held her breathe. That was it? She was betraying her team and she was doing _for him_? The man that they expected her to hate? The man that she was supposed to hate?

Was she ready to give up to the closest thing to a family she ever had?

Was she?

“I know what I'm doing” Skye said, firmly. “I know that S.H.I.E.L.D. is eating my soul right now and it's turning me into a cold soldier. I know that I don't wanna be like that. I wanna be me and... Unexpectedly I can be myself only when you're around. So yes, I am sure”.

Ward looked at her with empty eyes. A part of him really wanted that, her devotion, her true self, but he didn't know if he was ready to let her make that decision.

“There will be no turning back, Skye” he murmured, then. “You will embrace the darkness if you come with me”.

Skye cracked a smile, but that disappeared soon in favour of a firmly face. “So let's embrace it together”.

 

 


	5. 5.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Skye stared at his face for a few seconds. Then she rose and kissed his forehead, softly. “I'm gonna fix it” she whispered into his ear. “Even if it's the last thing I do, I'm gonna fix this”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, here we go. New chapter's up. I really don't know where this story is going. I'm writing by heart and perhaps I didn't have a plan of how to end all of this. Then, we'll find out what's gonna happen together, I guess.  
> As always, comments are really appreciated. Let me know what you think, please.

 “Skye. Skye, I think we should stop”.

“No. Come on, we're almost there”.

Ward could barely stand up. Walking was harder than that. The wound was still open, it was fresh and he kept bleeding the whole time. He just wanted to stop there and rest, at least for a while.

But he couldn't.

Skye was literally dragging him through a dark street. She didn't know from where she was getting the strength to carry him. She just knew that they needed to get to that place soon, so that they could be safe.

Ward's face was pale. He was about to pass out and Skye was aware of that. That's why she held him tight and tried to walk faster.

They reached the old, hidden and abandoned house just in time. As soon as they walked in, Ward collapsed on the floor and Skye followed him while she was trying to hold him up.

Skye shook her head as her hands ran to Ward's cheeks. His eyes were half-opened and his skin more pale than before.

“Hey, hey” she whispered. “We made it. We're here”.

He mumbled something, but none of his words was clear to Skye's ears. She realized then that he was bleeding profusely. His stitches went off.

“Damn it”.

She couldn't just lift him up or demand that he would do that by himself. Besides, if the bleed wouldn't have stop in that exact moment, he would have die in a few minutes.

Skye got up and desperately looked for anything that could stop the bleeding. There wasn't much in that house. She managed to find just some towels, but those could help.

She returned to him and pressed them against his wound. He moaned.

“Sorry” the girl whispered. “I have to do this”.

Ward tried to open his eyes wider. He also tried to smile like that was the least he could do. “That's okay” he murmured. “I'm fine”.

Skye forced a laugh, nervously. “You're really not” she commented. “But thanks for comforting me”.

He sighed. “Where are we?” he asked then. “Wish I could have tracked every movement we made, but...”.

“You slept the whole time”.

“Yeah. Wish I could've been a better travel mate too”.

Skye nodded. “We're safe” she said. “No need to know exactly where, but no one will find us. At least not now. Perhaps in a few weeks. We will move over before they do”.

“How...”.

“I'm good at everything. That's how”.

Ward smirked. He was exhausted and yet he couldn't help himself from smiling at her. Despite the circumstances, he was pretty much happy.

She was with him, she would never leave him and that was enough. The blood didn't matter. The place didn't matter. The fact that he was still lying on the floor didn't matter too.

“Do you think you can get up and reach the bed? Or maybe the couch. It's just a few steps” Skye said.

“Yeah, I can do it”.

“Are you sure?”.

“Yes”.

Unfortunately, in spite of his cockiness, he couldn't. As soon as he tried to get up, a deep pain hit him in the chest and almost took his breathe away.

Skye had to help him again and she could barely support him until they reached the small couch in the living room and fell over it.

“You need to rest. Now” Skye shouted when she was able to see Ward's face again. A new faint was not far.

Ward was now lying on the couch even though he was quite to big for it. Skye was on her knees, right beside him.

“I'm fine, Skye” he whispered. “Don't worry”.

“You're not fine, stop saying that” she stated. “We walked for miles and it was pretty cold outside. You have been shot in the chest two days ago and just lost a lot of blood. That's not the definition of 'fine' to me”.

Ward sighed. He didn't reply to her. A part of him knew she was right: he was not fine. He was feeling like dying and every breathe was causing him more pain. He felt heavy, his head hurt, but he didn't want to show it to her. He didn't want her to worry about him, not in that way.

Skye looked down. Her eyes glimpsed on Ward's right wrist. The mark of his suicide's attempt was there. She didn't pay attention to it since the first time she saw it because she had always tried to deny it. But she couldn't do that time.

Ward noticed how she was staring at it, so he pulled back his arm and pushed it against his own body. “It's just a scar” he said. “I have plenty of them”.

The girl shook her head, slowly. “I didn't know about it” she murmured. “No one told me. I asked Coulson about you several time, I wanted a discussion with you. A real discussion, I mean. I wanted to understand. But first he said that you weren't able to speak because of what May did to you. Then that I shouldn't have because you could manipulate me and after that... It was too late. I was already into my new SO's training, on the path to become a perfect soldier. And I let that go until they ordered me to talk to you to get informations. Of course, I complied”.

Ward listened to her words carefully. It was like she was talking to herself, but he kinda enjoyed the sound of her voice, so the idea of stopping her didn't cross his mind at all.

He spoke only when she finished her last sentence. “It's okay” he said, quietly. “I didn't want you to know”.

“Why not?”.

“I never wanted you to pity me. That was not the way to get into you”. He paused for a while, but not because he didn't know what to say, it was just the pain. “I take responsibilities for my actions, Skye” he continued. “All of them, good or bad. I did terrible things and I knew what I was doing. Maybe that's the worst part. I can't blame anyone for what I am and I don't wanna be or act like a hero. I'm not. I'm the opposite”.

Skye cracked a bitter smile. “No one is a hero” she said. “Everyone has their own demons to fight and people are capable of cruel things in order to get what they want. Anyone. I think... There's no just black and white, you know? There's no just good people and bad people. People are both, one time or another”.

Ward could barely believe her words. He wondered if he was just dreaming, but he was pretty sure he was perfectly awake considering the pain that was hitting him even in that moment. He didn't need to punch himself or anything like that.

“What made you change your mind?” he asked.

“I haven't” Skye answered and looked up to him. “I guess it's always been like that. I just didn't realize it before”.

He sighed. “Thank you” he whispered. “I know you're doing this for yourself, mostly, but... Thank you for saying that”.

Skye held her breathe for a little while. She didn't reply to his last sentence. She just nodded and stood up. “Take some sleep now” she said then. “I prepare something to eat”.

 

 ***

 

 

When Ward opened his eyes, he felt ice cold. Shivers were gripping him and he couldn't stop them. He looked around and barely recognised where he was.

“Hey”. Skye's voice was the only thing who was comforting in that moment. His eyes glimpsed until they could find her face. She was next to him just like before.

“Your skin is burning” she whispered. Ward tried to say something in response, but all that came out from his mouth was more moans. Skye bit her lower lip harder and almost made it bleed.

“I gave you some antibiotics” she said then, nervously. “But I don't know if they're working, I – I don't know if I'm doing this right”. She was sobbing. She didn't want to cry – not again – but she was almost having a panic attack.

“I'm sorry, I'm so – so sorry, I'm...”.

Her hands were shaking. They still managed to reach Ward's face and her fingers caressed his cheeks.

Skye's cold skin was refreshing for him. He sighed with relief.

“I guess what they say about me is right” the girl murmured. “Everywhere I go, death follows”. She shook her head. “Maybe I am toxic. I am a disease, not you. Everything I touch, it dies and it's happening again”.

She squinted, trying to chase away the tears that were coming into her eyes. Meanwhile, Ward fell asleep again or maybe the fever made him faint again.

Skye stared at his face for a few seconds. Then she rose and kissed his forehead, softly. “I'm gonna fix it” she whispered into his ear. “Even if it's the last thing I do, I'm gonna fix this”.


End file.
